Are You Happy?

Are you happy?
It's not that hard of a question.
Are you happy?
What does "happy" even mean?
Are you happy?
There's too much shit going on for me to be happy.
Are you happy?
I will avoid this like the plague.
Are you happy?
Can we talk about something else?
Are you happy?
Don't I look happy?
Are you happy?
What are you talking about?
Are you happy?
I need a new excuse.
Are you happy?
Stop asking me stupid questions.
Are you happy?
I'm fine.
Are you happy?
I'll be alright.
Are you happy?
Are you happy?

Self-Titled.

Today I stood outside and closed my eyes to get a better feeling of the wind. I could feel it blowing all around me. The breeze through my bangs and against my legs. I could grasp the feeling of wind, but why not happiness? "Happiness is a choice." I hear this all the time, however "happiness" is a counterfeit of Joy. Therefore, it's not real? Everything I have been chasing after, every wish I make has always been, "Just to be happy." I think I have just made it into this huge mountain that I am going to have to climb just to feel better. In reality, it's just a choice. When things happen, I always think straight for the worst. I always tend to think things are not going to go my way, and I get so excited when they do. It's a rush of emotion, it makes me feel, even if it isn't the best emotion. [When you numb out the bad emotions, you are numbing the good ones too.] I feel like I need to take a deep breath, inhale, exhale, and realize life situations aren't always life or death. I think I just need to live a little.